Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire (Xbox Series X|S) Review

There are plenty of games about vampires, and there are plenty of games about farming. Very few ask the question: what if Dracula's son decided that blood was overrated and vegetables were the future? Thankfully, Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire embraces that wonderfully absurd premise and runs with it, delivering a charming blend of farming sim, action roguelite, and tower defence that feels refreshingly different.

You play as Voltaire, the rebellious youngest son of Dracula, who has decided to abandon blood entirely and adopt a plant-based lifestyle. Naturally, his father is less than supportive of this lifestyle change. Armed with magical seeds, a growing appetite for vegetables, and a determination to prove vampires can survive without neck-biting, Voltaire sets out to build a farm and defend it against the forces of his unimpressed father.

The gameplay follows a satisfying day-and-night structure. During the day, you're planting crops, expanding your farm, exploring new areas, and gathering resources. It's during these quieter moments that the game really finds its rhythm. There's something oddly relaxing about tending your supernatural garden while planning your next upgrades. Then night arrives, and everything changes. Dracula's minions descend on your carefully cultivated homestead, forcing you into frantic combat as you defend your crops from destruction.

This split between peaceful farming and hectic combat creates a compelling gameplay loop that rarely feels repetitive. Every crop planted contributes to your progression, while every battle provides opportunities to grow stronger. The roguelite elements ensure failure never feels particularly punishing. Each run feeds into future attempts, creating that familiar "just one more run" mentality that keeps the clock ticking far later than intended.

Visually, Voltaire is an absolute delight. Its hand-drawn art style combines creepy gothic aesthetics with an almost storybook level of charm. The world is filled with quirky character designs, vibrant crops, and delightfully silly monster encounters. It manages to be spooky without ever becoming threatening, making it accessible for younger players while still providing enough personality to entertain adults. The game's sense of humour is consistently amusing, particularly whenever it leans into the ridiculousness of a vampire discovering the power of oatmeal shakes and vegetables.

Combat itself is fast and enjoyable, though it isn't the deepest part of the experience. Unlocking new abilities and evolving Voltaire into stronger forms provides welcome variety, but veteran roguelite fans may find some encounters become predictable after several hours. The focus here is less on intricate combat mechanics and more on managing the balance between farming, exploration, progression, and survival.

On Xbox Series X, the colourful visuals translate nicely to the big screen, and the controller feels perfectly suited to both the farming and combat systems. Whether playing in short bursts or settling in for an afternoon of farming and fending off Dracula's latest temper tantrum, the game remains consistently enjoyable.

Ultimately, Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire succeeds because it fully commits to its bizarre concept. Rather than treating the premise as a joke, it builds an entire game around it, and the result is a surprisingly engaging hybrid that feels both cosy and chaotic in equal measure. It may not revolutionise either the farming or roguelite genres, but its unique identity, charming presentation, and addictive gameplay loop make it easy to recommend.

Pros

• Clever and genuinely funny premise

• Addictive farm-by-day, fight-by-night gameplay loop

• Charming hand-drawn art style

• Strong roguelite progression system

• Accessible while still offering satisfying challenge

Cons

• Combat can become repetitive over time

• Some roguelite elements lack depth compared to genre leaders

• Resource gathering occasionally borders on grindy

Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire is a delightfully eccentric mash-up of farming, action, and roguelite progression. It won't replace Stardew Valley or Hades in your library, but it carves out its own memorable niche somewhere between the vegetable patch and the vampire crypt.

XPN Rating: 4 out of 5 (GOLD)

Voltaire: The Vegan Vampire is available now!